50 Pinoy Signs and Spoofs

50 Pinoy Signs and Spoofs

The Filipinos’ propensity for spoofs of popular signs shows no sign of abating. Pinoy humor, even in the most difficult situations always worms its way, and usually ends up softening the impact of what could otherwise be a bad situation.

That is typically Filipino. After all, we are not known as one of the happiest people in the world for nothing. Why do Filipinos thrive despite the adversities? Read on some of the business signs found throughout the Philippines and you’ll see why.

1. BEAUTY PARLOR in San Juan City: “CUT & FACE”
2. WHOLESALER of DUCK EGGS (balot) in Batangas: “STARDUCKS”
3. FAST FOOD eatery in Nueva Ecija: “VIOLYBEE”
4. INTERNET CAFÉ among squatters area in Tondo: “CAFÉ PINDOT” (due excessive touch)
5. LAUNDRY SHOP in University Belt, Manila: “SUMMA CUM LAUNDRY”
6. PETSHOP in Ortigas: “PUSSIES AND BITCHES”
7. PETSHOP in Kamuning: “PAKITA MO PET MO”
8. BAKERY in Quezon City: “BREAD PIT”
9. BANK in Alabang, Muntinlupa: “ALABANK”
10. RESTAURANT in Pampanga: “MEKENI ROGERS”
11. RESTAURANT in Marikina City: “JOHNNY’S PRIDE CHICKEN: FRIED OF MARIKINA”
12. BOXING GYM in Pasay City: “BLOW JAB GYM”
13. TOMBSTONE MAKER in Antipolo City: “LITO LAPIDA”
14. COPY CENTER in Sikatuna Village: “PAKOPYA NI EDGAR” (sounds like the Pinoy musical band)
15. BEERHOUSE in Cavite: CHICK POINT”
16. LAUNDROMAT in Sikatuna: “STAR WASH: ATTACK OF THE CLOTHES”
17. INTERNET CAFÉ in Taguig: "n@kopi@"
18. BEAUTY SALON in Manila: “CURL UP AND DYE”
19. GOTO (rice meal) eatery in Bulacan: “GEE CONGEE”
20. WATER REFILLING STATION in Dapitan: “WA-THIRST”
21. CHICKEN FEEDS Store in Bulacan: “ROBO COCK”
22. SHOE REPAIR shop in Marikina: “DR. SHOE BAGO”
23. SHOE REPAIR store in Commonwealth: “SHOEPERMAN: (we will HEAL you, save your SOLE, and even DYE for you)
24. PET SHOP in Caloocan City: “PETNESS FIRST”
25. FLOWER SHOP in Quezon City: “SUSAN ROSES”


26. TAXICAB Operator: INCOME TAXI”
27. WATCH STORE selling second-hand items: “2ND TIME AROUND”
28. SQUID (pusit) STALL in wet market: “PUSIT TO THE LIMIT”
29. GAY LAWYER’s extension office: “NOTA REPUBLIC”
30. CARPENTER’s ceiling installer home-office: “KISAME STREET”
31. CAR REPAIR shop: “BANGGA KA DAY?”
32. AQUATIC PET STORE in Malolos: “FISH BE WITH YOU”
33. BEAUTY SALON in community with lot of OCW families: “SAUDIA HAIRLINES”
34. BAKERY in Metro: “ANAK NG TINAPAY”
35. RESTO eatery along Mayon Road, Manila: “MAY LISA EATERY”
36. LAUNDRY SHOP: “WASH YOUR PROBLEM”
37. ICE CREAM parlor: “DILA LANG ANG KATAPAT!”
38. CHICHARON stall: “CHICHA HUT”
39. PIZZA STORE in neighborhood: “PIZZA HOT”
40. FISHBALL CART near UST: “EAT MY BALLS”
41. BARBERSHOP in Cagayan De Oro: “PINOY BIG BARBER”
42. RESTO eatery: “LAST SUPPER”
43. PEANUT VENDOR’s cart: “MANI NI PAPA”
44. GYM owned by gay in Malolos: “GAYMANN FITNESS CENTER”
45. PARTY NEEDS store: “BALLOON-BALLOONAN”
46. CHINESE RESTAURANT in Pasig: “LAH FANG”
47. FRESH CHICKEN store owned by woman named Dina who claims “fresh chickens daily”: “DINA FRESH CHICKEN”
48. BAKESHOP with specialty "monay" bread: “TRIMONAY”
49. BEAUTY SALON beside internet café with same owner: “HAIR DOT COMB”
50. RESTAURANT SIGNAGE: “We are open 25 hrs. a day – no lunch/dinner breaks!”

Pampagising! Bwahahahahaah!

Hindi lahat ng party ay masaya--3RD PARTY
Hindi lahat ng 13 ay malas--13TH MONTH PAY
Hindi lahat ng negative nakakalungkot- PREGNANCY TEST (whew)
Hindi lahat ng positive ikina-sasaya- -HIV POSITIVE

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Panibagong sagot sa tanong na: "'musta lovelife?"
"Eto self supporting."

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Anak: Tay, totoo po bang may multo?
Tatay: Anak walang multo! Bakit mo naitanong?
Anak: Sabi kasi ni yaya merong multo!
Tatay: Anak... naman, wala tayong yaya!

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Inday: Ate, kailangan daw ipa-EXTRAY ulo ni junior?
Mother: Gaga anong EXTRAY?
Inday: Ano pu ba talaga ati?
Mother: CT SKULL!! Bobo!
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Bahay ng mag-asawa pinasok ng killer....
Killer: Bago ko patayin lahat ng biktima ko ay kinikilala ko muna. Ikaw Mrs, ano pangalan mo?
Mrs: Inday po.
Killer: Napakagandang pangalan, kapangalan mo nanay ko.
Hindi na kita papatayin. Ikaw mr, ano pangalan mo?
Mr: Ah Pedro po, pero my friends call me Inday.

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Chinese feng shui: If MIRROR at the stairs, may swerte at grasya akyat.
If MIRROR at the door, may swerte at grasya pasok.
If MIRROR at the ceiling, ikaw swerte, nasa loob ka ng MOTEL!

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Teacher: Juan, give me colors that start with letter M, except maroon!
Juan: Hhmmm...
Maitim!
Mapute!
Maputla!
Madilaw!
Mukhang berde!
Mejo asul!
Mamink-mink!

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3 Palatandaan na tumatanda ka na:
1) Tuhod na lang ang Tumitigas..
2) Buhok na lang ang Tumatayo.
3) Mukha na lang ang Nagagalit.

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Mag-ama nakasakay sa barko habang bumabagyo...
Anak: Tay! Nag-aalala po ako. Parang lulubog ang barko.
Tatay: Tanga! Ba't ka mag-aalala eh di naman atin ito!

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Isang binata naputulan ng parehong braso, pagdating sa ospital:
Binata: Doc gamutin nyo po ako, naputol parehong braso ko.
Doc: Mga anong oras ka ba naputulan?
Binata: Mga 10 oras na po.
Doc: 10?! Eh bakit ngayon ka lang pumunta dito?
Binata: HALLER! Mahirap kayang pumara ng jeep!!

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Nanay: Papauwi ka na ba? Asan ka na?
Anak: Andito po ako sa ospital...
Nanay (umiiyak): Ha? Ano nangyari sayo?!
Anak: Nay, nurse po ako, duty ako ngayon!

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A large signboard says: "ALCOHOL KILLS SLOWLY."
Nakita ng lasenggo... "So what?! Sino ba nagmamadali? "?
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Misis: Inday, napansin mo ba ang barong ni sir mo lagi na lang may lipstick?
Maid: Opo nga ma'am! Mukang niloloko na tayo ni sir ah?!?!
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Jr: Nay, nagloko ba si lolo noong buhay pa sya?
Mom: Pag namatay ako, tatangungin ko sya sa langit.
Jr: Eh kung nasa hell si lolo?
Mom: Tatay mo ang magtatanong!

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Wife mad at drunk husband: From now on, lips that touch liquor will never touch mine...
(Later she said): What are you thinking?
Husband: Trying to decide between 12year old scotch and 50year old lips.
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Son to dying father: Itay, ano po ang gusto nyo, magpalibing ba o magpa-cremate?
Ama:Ikaw na ang bahala, anak. I-surprise mo na lang ako.

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Pacquiao: Honey, boksan mo na yun sweets.
Jinky: Nasan honey? Ang lambing mo naman. May pasalubong ka pa sa akin!
Pacquiao: Yung sweets ng elaw. Ang dilim kasi!

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Bisaya: Hulaan mo alaga kong hayop nagsimula sa liter I.
DJ: Isda?
Bisaya: Dili man!
Dj: Ibon?
Bisaya: Lapit na.
DJ: Ano nga, siret na!
Bisaya: IGOL.

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Erap disembarked from a PAL flight and was met by reporter who asked, "Sir, what do you think of the economy?"
Erap: I don't know. I was seated in the first class.
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Misis: Darling, akala ko ba, mahal mo ako....
Mister: Oo nga! Handa akong mamatay alang-alang sayo.
Misis: Sus! Puro ka naman satsat, hindi mo naman ginagawa!

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